jp smythe's tumblr.

Oh! Jamie Cullum went to sleep one night and woke up as a mediocre version of Ben Folds, apparently.

Sep 27th

As the day has progressed my throat has closed more and more to the point where it feels as if I...

Sep 27th

FLU. FLU FLU FLU FLU FLU.

Sep 27th

Today’s Daily Mail has told me that the plural of “Criticism” is...

Sep 27th

The September Issue - a doc about Vogue/Anna Wintour - is brill. Great insight into publishing &...

Sep 27th

Mediocrity, thy name is Eastwick. Charisma-lessness, thy name is the guy they got to play Darryl Van...

Sep 27th

Vikki, getting stressed about preparing a class, just suggested that there might be a romance novel...

Sep 27th

What should I play as the first song on my new stereo, world?

Sep 26th

Cardiff John Lewis is huge. It gave me a frying pan, some bowls and new stereo…

Sep 26th

I know I’m in a minority, but I have spent *more* money on music & tv shows since the...

Sep 26th

Surrogates review: It was *okay*, I suppose, nearly, sort of. Shocking script; entirely composed of...

Sep 26th

Nobody told me that there was a new Masters Of Reality album. Oh Jesus.

Sep 26th

A Mamet-written Diary Of Anne Frank set in the Middle East with suicide bombers? Sounds more...

Sep 26th

Well, that was hideous. Here’s the dog’s reaction: http://pic.gd/71cdb

Sep 26th

We have a winner! It’s going to be Kittens singing Christmas Carols. I’ll let you know...

Sep 26th

This Sony Wand thing for PS3 sounds absolutely hideous. If I wanted a Wii I would buy a Wii.

Sep 25th

Teaching in Aberaman today; I’m prepped.

Sep 25th

I’m buying the McSweeney’s iPhone app to support them as a publisher of great new...

Sep 25th

That drive was horrific. I think I now have a head of shock-white hair, like the guy in It after he...

Sep 25th

Dear @popjustice. Please explain why there are no photoshops of the Sugababes as cockroaches on YOUR...

Sep 23rd

Wow. Heroes’ viewing figures are down 46% from last season. That can’t be a sign of good...

Sep 23rd

Is this Michael Jackson ‘Penguin’ thing a joke? Because it’s the worst dance move...

Sep 23rd

RT @michaelianblack: I am rocking Funny or Die: http://tinyurl.com/njtqq4 (This is fucking awesome....

Sep 23rd

Right, I want a Microsoft Courier. Now, tomorrow, whatever, I don’t care, but I want one....

Sep 23rd

Oh, and before I forget, the new episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm was just astonishingly great.

Sep 23rd

Things that @geoffkeighley ‘s Twitter is teaching me: Uncharted 2’s chapters seem very...

Sep 23rd

RT @radiomaru: John Allison’s new (new!) webcomic Bad Machinery debuts today!...

Sep 22nd

RT @jeremyet: Honesty in advertising “Dixons - The last place you want to go”...

Sep 22nd

RT @radiomaru: RT @hopelarson: I don’t usually link to videos, especially ads, but this is...

Sep 22nd

Love love love the Rain Machine album.

Sep 22nd

Oh my God. Chas & Dave have split up. This is AWFUL. http://bit.ly/1Cv9m (Watch this and mourn....

Sep 22nd

Alright, I’ll say it: the new episode of Always Sunny wasn’t great. I mean, it was still...

Sep 22nd

Taught my first class in Gartholwg. Was actually really good - some nice people there, eager to...

Sep 22nd

James ‘Smugface’ Blunt’s asking me to not download his albums illegally just makes...

Sep 22nd

RT @theMetz: Thanks for the push Gmail, Microsoft (on my iPhone)?! http://bit.ly/kMd3P

Sep 22nd

Heading into 5th True Blood episode of the day. Sitting here in semi-darkness, eating snacks,...

Sep 21st

My West Wing marathon continues, btw. Now on Season 5. Leo’s starting to irritate me with his...

Sep 21st

I wish I had some really tasty honey/chili nuts here. I’m hungry for snacks. Editing is dull...

Sep 21st

Just got heckled on the street. They shouted out “TALL WHITE!” which seems less a goad...

Sep 21st

True Blood Season 2 ended well. Now, to make a Beef Rendang and, I don’t know, wake up or...

Sep 21st

There’s an enormous poster of Michael McIntyre outside our flat, there to provide me with a...

Sep 21st

I’m cleaning the oven oh jesus it’s like hell in there so many dead where did they find...

Sep 20th

RT @norock: Neko Case on Jonathan Ross on Radio Two this morning. [Listen to this: Neko is...

Sep 20th

I have a new album of the year. It’s British and it’s folky and I did not expect it at...

Sep 20th

Help me: name of 90s alt-rock-jazz band, dark, moody, soundscapey, had a sax player, band name...

Sep 20th

Discussing tastes in men with Ceri Murphy. I say Rob Lowe is best; he likes Daniel Craig. #fb

Sep 18th

A new dog has moved into our apartment block. He sits on the balcony all day and barks, constantly,...

Sep 18th

A woman has had one of her teeth implanted in her eye to cure her blindness. I am not joking....

Sep 18th

Cardiff Central Post Office has become a deli, with stamps being the cheese, foreign money the ham,...

Sep 18th

If Paranormal Activity is even half as scary as claimed, it might be superb: http://bit.ly/4BN1N

Sep 17th

RT @antonyjohnston: SSX possibly not dead?! *crosses fingers and makes a wish* http://bit.ly/FWYao...

Sep 17th

I LOVE his new novel’s opening line: “Physicist Leonardo Vetra smelled burning flesh,...

Sep 17th

You’d never catch Huw or Trevor suggesting that anybody fuck a chicken in this country:...

Sep 17th

Dan Brown’s 20 Worst Sentences: http://bit.ly/11GbXS #fb

Sep 17th

So, the new Smashing Pumpkins album is 44 songs and completely free? Alright. http://bit.ly/ZdgLP

Sep 17th

The Winter Memorial Fund swelled to thousands. At the celebration, the committee sprayed foam, threw...

Sep 17th

Just watched - and loved - Design For Life, then had a little fit over a new Chromeo song, and keep...

Sep 17th

RT @GrantaMag: Focus Features, Oprah Winfrey & Sam Mendes teaming up to mount feature film of...

Sep 17th

Watching Dragon’s Den Online. Julie Meyer should absolutely replace one of the regular dragons...

Sep 17th

RT @missdaisyfrost: How to create your own personalised Dan Brown book….. http://bit.ly/wOt11

Sep 16th

Ah! The eternal Supermarket/Contemplation dichotomy.

Sep 16th

Listening to @andrewdost’s Colombus. It’s a musical(ish) without a stage show, about the...

Sep 16th

http://twitpic.com/hugqb - @hollyhowitt reading from her new novel, The Schoolboy.

Sep 16th

Just found a stray word in most recent novel draft. That word? “Soreanus”. I have *no*...

Sep 16th

Did you know that Dan Brown - the dreadful writer - used to be a dreadful singer/songwriter?...

Sep 16th

Why on earth does Gavin & Stacey need a US remake? ANSWER IT DOESN’T YOU STUPID TV PEOPLE....

Sep 16th

Reading through old blog posts, I once described my first novel as “technologically...

Sep 16th

I’m upset, confused and concerned all at once, with a tiny hint of dismay in there as well....

Sep 14th

Kanye West really is a tit, isn’t he? http://bit.ly/3NwMB7

Sep 14th

Ha ha! The soundtrack for Doom was all illegal covers of Metal songs!...

Sep 14th

RT @GazLemon: A first para that makes you need to read on. http://bit.ly/E1kNQ [Jesus Christ, this...

Sep 14th

I am, on @orbitingfrog’s advice, listening to VERY NOISY ROCK music. It’s all Drop-D...

Sep 14th

There is nothing better to cheer your mood than reading Batman, watching True Blood, eating...

Sep 14th

Cat feeding and garden watering this afternoon, but until then? It’s SwayzeDay. Point...

Sep 13th

Stupid dog is stupid. Greenhouse plants are THRIVING. Now, Vikki wants to watch Twilight. I’ll...

Sep 13th

Just read something where somebody asked if there was “a pacific time and place” that...

Sep 13th

Nice article/interview/thing with William Boyd, one of Britain’s finest (and strangely...

Sep 13th

This track-by-track preview of the new Flaming Lips album is making me drooooool....

Sep 12th

Want to see a university sitcom done brilliantly? Watch Undeclared.

Sep 12th

Off The Hook: Same writing/direction style as The Inbetweeners, starring that one from The...

Sep 12th

Well. Just saw District 9. Loathe to say too much, other than it was amazing, shocking, powerful and...

Sep 12th

iTunes has decided that I should now listen to Capri Pants by Bikini Kill. Who am I to argue?

Sep 11th

I LOVE YOU, GENIUS MIXES! First song on ‘Rock Mix 3’? The Get-Up Kids’ cover of...

Sep 11th

Watching the Curb documentary special before next week’s season premiere. It is giving me...

Sep 11th

RT @Joethepublicist: Thought it’s worth pointing out this beautiful series of books:...

Sep 11th

I still can’t believe that this month will see both a Pearl Jam and an Alice In Chains album...

Sep 11th

Oh, piss. I’ve just realised that I’m writing something eerily close to the plot of the...

Sep 11th

Writing: Lovecraft/Gilbert & Sullivan/Miss Saigon/Noir Crime Fiction/The Films Of David...

Sep 9th

Actually, @Gadfor4th and @kes1981, this article tells you why these things are popular:...

Sep 9th

Dear Mika. How do 300 drinks end up costing you £25,000? I would like to know. http://bit.ly/89tqG...

Sep 9th

I never knew that Kate Mulgrew wasn’t the first Captain Janeway: http://bit.ly/M9yqN

Sep 9th

RT @TweetDeck: Direct Link to TweetDeck v0.30: http://bit.ly/2ipedA

Sep 9th

So, are we seriously expected to believe that it would be impossible for our iPhone 3Gs to do video?...

Sep 9th

iTunes and iPhone updated, as if these things will somehow change my life overnight. (Hint: They...

Sep 9th

This Pete Yorn/ScaJo album that everybody said was better than ScaJo’s Tom Waits covers? Much...

Sep 8th

I want the new Nick Cave book. But if you think I’m spending £15 on an iPhone app for the...

Sep 8th

Great article about @juliansimpson’s experiences directing a documentary for Channel 4:...

Sep 8th

Nintendo launch their Wii horoscope channel tomorrow, which really puts the entire console in...

Sep 8th

Eighths. #wordsthatlookwrongwhenyouwritethemdown

Sep 8th

I want a Herman Miller ‘Mirra’ chair: http://bit.ly/nCIJy. Every time I sit here all day...

Sep 8th

So, Snow Leopard. It’s very black in places, eh?

Sep 7th

Back. John Lewis triumphantly managed to barely have anything that we wanted in stock. Wasted trip....

Sep 7th

About to drive to that bastion of commercialism, Cribbs Causeway. There’s wedding vouchers to...

Sep 7th

I can’t help but think that if Obama sat around all day playing chess and smoking angrily...

Sep 7th

The current seasons of Top Chef and Project Runway feature what are probably their best casts ever....

Sep 7th

Wake up. West Wing (season 3, episode 14). Think about writing today. #fb

Sep 7th

Finished Arkham Asylum. Great game until the very end, which was a bit stupid and quite annoyingly...

Sep 5th

Bioshock 2 multiplayer looks like an absolute shambles: http://bit.ly/12QLVU. #fb

Sep 4th

Watched finale of Top Chef Masters. I love the winner; I want them round my house, making me food,...

Sep 4th

To say that I loved Inglourious Basterds would be an understatement of near-epic proportions. It was...

Sep 4th

About to head over to @orbitingfrog’s house to aid him with the dual twisted ankle/baby combo.

Sep 4th

Wedding presents have arrived! 8 boxes of stuff and nowhere to put them!

Sep 3rd

Have just found @pearlysweets. Follow him, and buy Baby Teeth’s new (and AMAZING) album Hustle...

Sep 3rd

I truly believe that I am writing the most commercial book based on Lovecraftian tropes that has...

Sep 3rd

Canabalt: The best game I’ve ever played that you control with a single button....

Sep 2nd

Night!

Sep 2nd

“Somebody’s going to emergency, somebody’s going to jail!” This song always...

Aug 31st

So, new seasons of both Top Chef and Project Runway have started? I MUST BE IN HEAVEN.

Aug 31st

I really want to know when there’ll be a new Earl Greyhound album out. Surely soon, right?

Aug 31st

RT @ToplessRobot: DISNEY BUYS MARVEL HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE...

Aug 31st

2 short stories written. 1 of them is pretty good, I think, but a bit weird; the other I’m in...

Aug 31st

Earlyish bed to prepare for V’s return to school hours next week: I can’t complain, as...

Aug 31st